Gleeful Splatter-dasher: Loves to douse pedestrians.
Head-turning Chatterbird: Seldom keeps his eyes front.
Hill-passing Swift: Ignores "No Passing" signs on hills.
Migratory Weaverbird: Constantly jumps lanes in traffic.
Ruffle-fendered Tail-gater: Bears marks of too-close contact.
Addlepated Honker: Always sounds off without reason.
Nocturnal Dimwit: Drives in the dark with parking lights.
Torpid Highway Creeper: A menace to all other road runners.
One-eyed Nighthawk: Ignores his burned-out headlight.
Gawking Booby: Gazes around while driving. [A species related to the Head-turning Chatterbird, above]
Crosswalk Creeper: Can't resist cheating on the takeoff.