Today, the world was stunned by the news of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the death occurred at approximately 8:42 pm last evening. Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going, and going, and going, "Pinkie," as he was known to his friends and relatives, was alone at the time of death.
An emergency autopsy was performed early this morning. Chief Medical Examiner Dura Cell concluded that the cause of death was acute cardiac arrest induced by sexual over-stimulation. Apparently, someone had installed Mr. Bunny's batteries backwards; and he kept coming, and coming, and coming....