"Real" Headlines


GATORS TO FACE SEMINOLES WITH PETERS OUT
-- The Tallahassee Bugle

MESSIAH CLIMAXES IN CHORUS OF HALLELUJAHS
-- The Anchorage Alaska Times

GOVERNOR'S PENIS BUSY [should be "Pen Is"]
-- The New Haven Connecticut Register

THANKS TO PRESIDENT CLINTON, STAFF SGT. FRUER NOW HAS A SON
-- The Arkansas Plainsman

LONG ISLAND STIFFENS FOR LILI'S BLOW
-- Newsday

ORGAN FESTIVAL ENDS IN SMASHING CLIMAX
-- San Antonio Rose

PETROLEUM JELLY KEEPS IDLE TOOLS RUST-FREE
-- Chicago Daily News

TEXTRON INC. MAKES OFFER TO SCREW COMPANY STOCKHOLDERS
-- The Miami Herald

MARRIED PRIESTS IN CATHOLIC CHURCH A LONG TIME COMING
-- The New Haven Connecticut Register

GOVERNOR CHILES OFFERS RARE OPPORTUNITY TO GOOSE HUNTERS
-- The Tallahassee Democrat

WOULD SHE CLIMB TO THE TOP OF MR. EVEREST AGAIN? ABSOLUTELY!
-- The Houston Chronicle


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