Rehearsal Police

Summons


NAME OF OFFENDER:
INFRACTION DATE:
INSTRUMENT:
LOCATION:
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________
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IMPERSONATING A PROFESSIONAL

FINE

__ Stupid Questions
__ Really Stupid Questions
__ Really Stupid Questions which increase rehearsal length
$10
$25
$300

PRESUMPTUOUS FIRST YEAR BEHAVIOR

__ Musicology
__ Historical Nitpicking
__ Obtrusive Foot-tapping
__ Uninvited Conducting
__ Questioning Concertmaster's or Principal's bowings
__ Comparing Concertmaster's or Principal's bowings with what Philadelphia Orchestra did under Ormandy
$25
$50
$10
$15
$25
$100

GENERAL TOADYING

__ Insane Cackling at Conductor's bad jokes
__ Loud and forced horse laugh at Conductor's bad jokes
__ Unwarranted beatific smile while playing (strings)
__ Conspicuous professional reading (e.g. International Musician)
__ Stultifyingly minute bowing/breath questions
__ Conversing with conductor in a language other than English
__ Active and public nodding in agreement with conductor
__ Pencil behind ear
__ Conspicuous part marking
__ Letting pencil clatter on stand after conspicuous part marking
__ Obvious, insipid consultation of conductor's score during break
__ reference to obscure recordings/performances
__ Pretending to understand absurd metaphor
__ Understanding absurd metaphor
$50
$10
$40
$35
$75
$95
$35
$25
$15
$500
$150
$90
$15
$25

ANNOYING BEHAVIOR BY VETERANS

__ Playing high notes louder than possible (brass)
__ Holding same 1/4 beat longer than everyone else (brass)
__ Discussing technique during rehearsal
__ Discussing technique during break
__ Discussing technique with guest artist (at any time)
__ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes
__ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes about famous musician (2nd hand)
__ Tiresome time-consuming anecdotes about famous musician (1st hand)
__ Naming yourself after a dead composer
__ Naming yourself after a live composer
__ Feigning European birth by 'lapsing' into foreign languages
$25
$200
$100
$200
$500
$30
$60
$90
$50
$100
$150

GENERAL OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR

__ Selling Amway
__ Inviting conductor to party
__ Inviting guest artist to party
__ Showing pictures of guest artist at party at first rehearsal after party
$50
$15
$100
$200

Signature of citing official:

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FAILURE TO PAY FINES SHALL BE CAUSE FOR REVOCATION OF ARTISTIC LICENSE.


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