Dr. Seuss Writes for Star Trek TNG


Picard

Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?

Data

Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days 'til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?

Picard

LaForge, please give us factor nine.

LaForge

But, sir, the engines are offline!

Picard

Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!

Riker

But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
The danger here is far too great!

Picard

But surely we must not be late!

Troi

I'm sensing anger and great ire.

Computer

Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!

Picard

The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?

Riker

Not me.

Worf

Not me.

Picard

Computer, how long 'til we die?

Computer

Eight minutes left to say goodbye.

Data

May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems...

Geordi

Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!

Picard

Mr. Data, thank you much.
You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.

Troi

We still must save the Indran planet --

Data

Which (by the way) is made of granite...

Picard

Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand -- we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.

Geordi

There's sabotage among the wires
And that's what started all the fires.

Riker

We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!

Troi

We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him why?

Worf

Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.

Troi

Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they've been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We haven't even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?

Crusher

Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
I can't just sit and let them die!
A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!

Picard

Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.

Crusher

They may be dead by Tuesday noon.

*COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK
HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*

Worf

The saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun --
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall,
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form
All soft and purple, round and warm.

Picard

Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?

Worf

I did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.

Riker

My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end!

Crusher

Now let's get our ship to fly
And orbit yonder Indran sky!

Picard

LaForge, please tell me we can go...?

Geordi

Yes, sir, we can.

Picard

Then make it so!


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