Southern California Driver's License Application

Sex:

Male Female Formerly Male Formerly Female Both
If female, indicate breast implant size:
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes No

Occupation:

Lawyer
Actor
Actor/Waiter
Actor/Waiter/Model
Film-maker/Self-employed
Consulting/Unemployed
Writer/Waiter
Car Dealer
Pan-handler
Agent
Transvestite
Other; please explain:

Please list:

Brand of cell phone:

If you don't own a cell phone, please explain:

Please check hair color:

Females: Blonde Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: Purple Blue Skinhead
Men: Please list shade of hair plugs:

Please check activities you perform while driving:

(Check all that apply)

Drinking a non-fat half cafe latte with a shot of vanilla and twist of lemon
Applying make-up
Talking on the phone
Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
Tanning
Snorting cocaine
Watching TV
Reading Variety
Surfing the net via laptop

Please indicate how many times:

• You expect to shoot at other drivers:
• You expect to be shot at while driving:

If you are the victim of a car-jacking, you should immediately:

Call the police to report the crime
Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news on a high-speed chase
Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through
Call your therapist
All of the above

Please indicate if you drive:

Beamer
Porsche
Mercedes
Other
If other, please explain:

In the event of an earthquake, you should:

stop your car.
keep driving and hope for the best.
immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4.

In the instance of rain, you should:

never drive over 5 MPH.
drive twice as fast as usual.
you're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week:

Which of the following medications are you currently taking?

Prozac
Zovirax
Lithium
Zantax
If none, please explain:

Length of daily commute:

1 hour
2 hours
3 hours
4 hours or more

When stopped by police, you should:

pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready.
try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405.
have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit.