The Lives and Loves of Launchpad McQuack

(or, Congratulations!  You found the secret page!)

Launchpad McQuack has had quite an active love life.  Here is an overview of some of the more interesting points...
While working for the DIA ("Duckburg Intelligence Agency") Launchpad was mistaken for his double, Bruno Von Beak, by the spy Feathers Galore.  It doesn't look as if he told her the truth in a hurry... but do you blame him?

(DuckTales, "Double-O Duck")

On an otheradventure with Mr. McDee, Launchpad met Sen-Sen, who was the princess of Toupei a thousand years ago.  (It 's a long story involving a time machine.)

LP may not have spoken the language, but he sure could read lips!

(DuckTales: "The Duck Who Would Be King")

While scuba diving, Launchpad got jabbed in the tuchas by Aphroducky's arrows, which caused him to fall in love with the first being that he saw.  It could have been worse ... he was diving with Scrooge and his nephews!

(DuckTales, "A Duckburg Valentine")

Launchpad was kidnapped by aliens ... who planned to use him for things other than medical experimentation.  Their queen, Tia, wanted to marry him.

Launchpad stayed on Earth - but a clone remained with her, proving that love is indeed blind.

(Darkwing Duck, "U.F.Foe")

Of course, Launchpad's true love turned out to be someone who could be close to on both a personal and a professional level.

This could explain why Launchpad crashes the Thunderquack so often...

(Darkwing Duck:  "Ghoul of My Dreams")

And now, a musical interlude...

The Duckburg Ball

(To the tune of "The Ball of Kirriemuir")

By Kim McFarland

That night, that night, that night at Duckburg Hall,
Though there was no dancin' it were anyway a ball.

Chorus: Singin' roll in the hay and feather the nest
And we'll be ready for some more once we've had a rest.

Scrooge, he kept his virtue in his Money Bin,
The vault was locked quite tightly and McDuck, of course, was in.

Glitt'ring Goldie was with him, her voice was sweet as honey,
Scrooge was in the gold and Goldie was in the money.

Duckworth, the butler, stove to meet each need -
Everyone knows it's to serve that is the butlers' creed.

Beakley did not join in, she said she was too old,
She kept track of the ladies that the others bought and sold.

Fenton Crackshell dreamt of the lovely Gandra Dee,
He had to stick to dreaming 'cause he can't afford her fee.

Gyro Gearloose, he was there, with his little friend the light
And his gizmos that ran on one double-A per night.

Launchpad, the pilot, he really raised some cain
For the dames he did his stunt: he went down in his plane.

Gizmoduck was stuck, and no matter what he tried
He couldn't get his suit off - but there were gadgets built inside.

Huey got his merit badge, or at least he tried
Using techniques that he learned from "Junior Woodchuck's Guide".

Dewey took poor Louie out, the boy'd become quite ill,
He'd had his guidebook upside down and thus had got his fill.

Dewey turned the guidebook 'round and thus set Louie right
Then both of them gave Webbigail the most horrendous fright.

The Beagle Boys, they crashed the place, they planned to raid the Bin
But when they saw the party they all just joined right in.

When the ball was over, that glorious night of nights,
Everyone was happy - and they'd all caught feather mites.

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