Space Ghost on "Donny & Marie"
November 15, 1998
Click on the Space Ghost icons to hear clips from the interview!
| (End of commercial break. Shots of the audience cheering. Camera comes in on Donny and Marie on the sofa.) | ||
| Donny: | (as audience cheers) I know, I know, all right, okay! (audience quiets down) Everyone, this next guest is the ultimate superhero. | |
| Marie: | That's right. | |
| Donny: | This guy hosts his own talk show, and even when he's upset he's animated. | |
| Marie: | Uh! Animated. | |
| Donny: | That was a joke! | |
| Marie: | Animated. | |
| Donny: | It was a joke. Okay, okay! He's the star of "Space Ghost Coast to Coast", that's on the Cartoon Network, the one, the only, | |
| Donny & Marie: | Space Ghost! | |
| (The audience cheers. Space Ghost's desk is on the monitors. Space Ghost invisos in.) | ||
| Donny: | What - oh, there he is! | |
| Marie: | There he comes. | |
| Donny: | There he is. Hello- | |
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Ghost: | Greetings, Osmonds and television viewers of Earth. I come in peace from the Ghost Planet. But do not be alarmed, I will not attack you. Now, bring forth the questions! Let the interview process begin! |
| Donny: | All right! | |
 |
Marie: | Okay, first of all, thank you so much for coming to earth. What are your super powers? |
| Ghost: | Well, I can fly, shoot rays, turn invisible... | |
| Donny: | Wow, turn invisible. That, that sounds like a lot of fun. | |
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Ghost: | Of course, my most impressive power is my super singing, which I use to great extent on my new CD, "Space Ghost's Surf and Turf", available on Rhino Records at quality music stores everywhere. |
| Donny: | (laughs) | |
| Marie: | Yeah, nice plug, Space Ghost. How does the power of invisibility come in handy in crimefighting? | |
| Ghost: | Actually, I don't use it much for the crimefighting. | |
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Donny: | Okay. When was the last time you were, uh, invisible? |
| Ghost:: | Utah. More questions, please. | |
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Marie: | What was the best use you made of your invisible powers? |
| Ghost: | (laughs) Well, I, I guess I can reveal this now. Donny- | |
| Donny: | Yes? | |
| Ghost: | You remember last year, when you were experiencing those excruciating back pains? | |
| Donny: | Oh, yeah, the lower back pains. How'd you know about that? | |
| Ghost: | That was me riding you piggyback! (laughs) Giddayap, little Osmond! Hyaah! Oh, those were the days. | |
| Donny: | Okay, hey, a little advice for us now. I mean you've been doing this now for four years, so- | |
| Ghost: | It's five years, Donny. | |
| Donny: | Oh, I'm sorry. | |
| Ghost: | Keep your facts straight. That would be my first bit of advice to you. | |
| Donny: | Okay. Actually, that's good advice. | |
| Marie: | It is good advice. | |
| Donny: | Get the facts straight. | |
| Marie: | Right. | |
|
Ghost: | Here's another tip. If you feel the guest gaining the upper hand, take them down a notch by dredging up something dark from their past. They'll respect you for it. |
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Donny: | Heh. O-kay. Now who's been your favorite interview? |
| Ghost: | Not you, Donny. (laughs) As for all the other interviews I've done over the years, I... really... don't remember them. (shrugs) | |
| Marie: | You don't remember them? | |
| Ghost: | Nope. | |
| Marie: | Y-you - seriously, you really don't remember any of them? | |
| Ghost: | You tryin' to provoke me? | |
| Donny: | No, we're not- | |
| Marie: | No! | |
| Donny: | No, we're not trying to provoke you! | |
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Marie: | No, no-no. What do you do in your spare time? |
| Ghost: | I like to use my spare time eating spare ribs! (laughs) (laughs some more) Go on. | |
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Marie: | You're very handsome, uh, Space Ghost. Are you married? |
| Ghost: | Yes, I'm married. To a little lady named... liberty. | |
| Marie: | Statue? | |
| Ghost: | Not the statue. That statue's huge. Now continue with your line of questioning. | |
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Donny: | Okay. Here's one for you. Do you ever take your mask off? |
| Ghost: | Do you? | |
| Donny: | I don't wear a mask! | |
| Ghost: | Perhaps you should, because you're not especially handsome, are ya, my friend? (laughs) Space joke. (laughs) | |
| Donny: | Uh huh. Okay. | |
| Ghost: | Next question please. | |
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Donny: | Okay. Now we were wondering, are you comfortable wearing Spandex all the time? |
| Ghost: | Why, yes, Donny, and Marie, I am. Spandex is breathable. It allows me to expand and contract at my leisure. It's like having bicycle shorts all over your body. | |
| Marie: | Do you hang out with any other superheroes? | |
| Ghost: | Do the Bee Gees count? If they do, then, yes, I certainly do. | |
| Marie: | Hey, you made a comeback after thirty years, you look great. What's your secret? | |
| Ghost: | Lotion, Marie. Gobs and gobs of it. Now, we done here? Where do I go? What happens next? | |
| Donny: | Well, actually, I think we're gonna sing a song together with you, uh, they did tell you about that, right? | |
| Ghost: | Yes! A song from my new CD, "Space Ghost's Surf and Turf", which is available on Rhino Records at finer music stores everywhere! | |
| Marie: | (As Space Ghost plugs) I know, I get it. | |
| Donny: | (As Space Ghost plugs) We heard it, okay. | |
| Marie: | (As Space Ghost plugs) Uh huh. | |
| Ghost: | It has no chorus, and the word are just arbitrarily strung together. But feel free to join in at any time! | |
| Donny: | Okay, we'll join you. | |
| Marie: | All right. | |
| Donny: | Here we go. | |
| (the music starts) | ||
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Ghost: | Do-do-do. I like bananas because they have no bones. |
| Donny & Marie: | Do, doo-wop. | |
| Ghost: | Macauley Culkin starred in "Home Alone". | |
| Donny & Marie: | He married young. | |
| Ghost: | If your dog has tartar, go get him some of those little doggie bones. Yeah! | |
| Donny & Marie: | Bad doggie breath. | |
| Ghost: | If you got something something something rhymes with bones, uh, yeah. | |
| Donny & Marie: | Bones, dry bones. | |
| Ghost: | For eight bucks call a psychic friend on the telephone. Ha ha! | |
| Donny & Marie: | Just phone home. | |
| Ghost: | If you're going deaf the doctor makes you listen to tones.
Boo-boo-boo-boo-beep! My cousin Vinnie's got a trailer park in Rome, ooh yeah! |
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| Donny & Marie: | Nice motor home. | |
| Ghost: | If you eat some uncooked pork you'll sit around and moan. Yeah! | |
| Donny & Marie: | E. coli. | |
| Ghost: | Doobie-doobie-do, something that rhymes with bones. Yeah! Unh! | |
| Donny: | Space Ghost, everyone! | |
| Marie: | Yeah! | |
| (the audience cheers) | ||
| Ghost: | Thank you! Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. | |
| Donny: | Space Ghost! | |
| Marie: | Yeah, give him a hand! | |
| Donny: | Thank you, Space Ghost! | |
| Marie: | That's right, watch the Cartoon Network! | |
| Donny: | (with Marie) Friday nights! | |
| Marie: | Space Ghost Coast to Coast! Thank you so much! | |
| Donny: | Space Ghost gave everyone a CD! Everyone got a CD! | |
| (audience members wave copies of Space Ghost's new CD, "Space Ghost's Surf and Turf", available on Rhino Records at quality music stores everywhere.) | ||
| Donny: | We'll be right back! Don't go away! | |
| (More audience cheering. Music begins. Eventually, cut to commercial.) | ||