The URA 2001 Awards Ceremony

By Lotsa People

[Scene: backstage at Slack & Hash's Domain. The red and blue femmebots are dressed in their best clothing protocols - an evening dress with a neckline the plunges down to the voicelight for Hash, and a black and white tux for Slack. Needless to say, they look silly. They are pacing and brainstorming.]

Hash: How about fireworks for the opening sequence?

Slack: Too expensive. We got a budget.

Hash: Not these. Look!

[Hash holds up a package labeled "HAPPY 2000!" Slack slaps it out of her hands.]

Slack: Not THOSE! Ya wanna be reformatted?

Hash: [sulkily] No.

Slack: Well, c'mon, we gotta think of something to start this off.

Hash: Uh...

Slack: What?

Hash: I think we're too late.

[Slack looks around, then realized that the awards page has already been uploaded.]

Slack: Oh, poopie.

[The two bots rush around frantically, smack face first into each other as is required in their contract, then race to the stage. There are blue velvet curtains created with only the finest Photoshop filters and a tasteful podium lit with a spotlight. It looks really snazzy, except for the cardboard box by the podium. After all, this is Slack and Hash we're talking about here. The former wheels up to the podium.]

Slack: Ahem-

Hash: Why're you doing that? You don't have a throat to clear.

Slack: Welcome to the URA 2001 awards!

Hash: Which are a continuation of the URA 2001 awards, in which people nominated and voted for their favorite ReBoot sites, stories, and art!

Slack: The original people didn't feel like doing it this year, so we took the job over.

Hash: And here we are!

Slack: Starting out with the Best New Site award. This is for the best site that was created after the URA 2000 thing. The nominees were:

Hash: The Infection,

Slack: Whose welcome screens scared one Go.COM editor into thinking that a real virus had been put on his computer. True story!

Hash: Charisma's Game, The ReBoot Abode -

Slack: Which has CAJA and the Inner Workings things. [nervously] I've heard things about them...

Hash: - and Cosmic Matrix's ReBoot Central.

Slack: And the winner is...

[Slack reaches for the letter on the podium. Hash grabs it up before she can, earning a dirty look.

Hash: The Infection!

Slack: Oooh! the evil viral master who's claimed half the ReBoot fandom as her minions won!

Hash: Color me surprised.

Slack: [reaching into the cardboard box and pulling out a graphic] Here's your award! She couldn't be here tonight, but since nearly everyone's her minion these days, someone take this to her, willya?

[Slack flings the graphic into the audience. Hash takes her place behind the podium.]

Hash: Next up, the Best Site Design. This is for the site with the best design. Go figure. The nominees are:

Slack: A Minor Glitch.

Hash: Better known as the site that hogged the awards last year,

Slack: Reboot Mayhem, and Slack & Hash's Domain.

[Slack and Hash exchanged startled looks.]

Slack: People like that slanty thing up top that much?

[Slack reaches for the envelope. Again Hash snatches it up and opens it.]

Hash: And the winner is... A Minor Glitch!

Slack: The strawberry flavored site! Are you out there?

[A VidWindow opens, showing action figures and a podium in front of a pink curtain.]

Hash: Hey Bobs! Love that pink thing ya got going on! [Takes another graphic out of the box] Here ya go. Say, why don't you do the next coupla presentations while you're here?

Slack: [aside]  That's what's known as a clever segue.

On to The Bob Squad's Presentation