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Asparagus is one of those vegetables that you can cook a hundred different ways. I doubt I'll try all hundred. Any I do make will be right here, starting with the most simple and foolproof one I have found, which is...

Steamed asparagus: Get your vegetable steamer going while you prepare the asparagus. Snap off the tough ends, then cut or snap each stalk into three pieces - two stem segments and the tip. Keep the two kinds of pieces separate. When the steamer is ready, put in the stems. Steam them for seven or so minutes, until they are just beginning to soften. Then put in the tips, and steam for another five minutes or so, until they reach the desired tenderness. Serve with melted butter with a few drops of lemon mixed in.

Stir-fried asparagus: Heat a small amount of oil in a large pan or wok. Snap or cut the stalks according to the above instructions. Put the stems in the pan and stir them around to coat them evenly with the oil. Cover and cook, stirring every few minutes to prevent burning. When the stems are beginning to soften - about 10 minutes - add in the tips, and stir-fry them another 5 minutes. Then add a half cup of hot water stir, and simmer for 5 minutes. Pour off the liquid and serve.