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I got some collard greens without having any idea how to cook them. Based on some suggestions and the stuff I had in my fridge, I fiddled this up.

What you need:

1 bunch of collard greens
half of an onion
3 pieces of fatty bacon

Wash the greens really well. This usually means soaking them in water to loosen the grit, swishing them around a lot, then draining the water and repeating the process. (It's annoying, but biting into gritty greens is worse.) Then cut the leaves away from the thick stems and chop them into pieces a few square inches in size.  Drain these and set them aside.

Cut the onion into thin strips. Cut the bacon into about 8 squares per slice. Saute both of these in a wok or large pan. when the onion is starting to turn translucent and there's a good bit of bacon grease in the pan, add some of the greens. Put in as much as you can stir around to coat with the grease without it flopping out onto the stove top. Then turn the heat down a tad (I keep it at 7 hereafter) and let it cook for a while, stirring it around every 4 minutes or so, until it cooks down a bit. It should take about 8-10 minutes. Then add some more leaves and repeat. Keep going in the same fashion until all the leaves are in, and keep stirring to mix the bacon & onion with the greens. It's done when the leaves are soft and well cooked down, which should take about 30 minutes. Serve the greens & bacon & onion all together.