Written by
Silver
Tiger
(Bridge of the SOL, Gypsy is doing some maintenance. Mike's hanging around and, noticing Cambot, brightens.)
Mike: (Upbeat as
always) Hey everyone, and welcome to the Satellite of Love. I'm Mike
Nelson and with my two robot and sprite friend(s), I survive the really
bad stories sent to us weekly by the evil scientists chasing us through Space
and Time in an old van who've teamed up with a malevolent virus called Megabyte
to wreck havoc on all of us here on the SOL. (Takes a breath) Gypse,
is it just me or are these intro's getting cumbersome?
Gypsy: You need to cut
down a little. Sorry but I have some horribly important job to maintain without
the function of which we'd all die in terror and agony. Gotta
fly.
Mike: See you
then.
Bob: (Walking on slowly,
as if in deep thought) Mike? Could I ask you a question?
Mike: Sure Bob. What's
the problem?
(Bob fiddles with his hands uncertainly a bit.)
Bob: Well...what with you
technically being a User and all...ever since I got here it's been bugging
me...(Sighing) You're not my God, are you?
Mike: Ah. I uhm...I see.
(Pauses) You know, this is really awkward. I mean I've never done
any programming myself. But we admittedly create your world.
Bob: (Despondently)
And if I did accept you as one that would make Pearl and even BOBO my makers
as well, huh?
Mike: Ouch. Yeah I
guess.
Bob: (Shaking his
head) I don't know, I mean User's SEEM a lot like sprites and all but
you DID program us...(sighs and sinks down into a
chair)
Mike: Uh-(Obviously
uncomfortable) I think I need the bot's help with this. Tom,
Crow...could...you come here?
Tom: What's up
Nelson?
Mike: (Taking them
aside) You guys were created by humans. Bob's sort of going through a
crisis faith thing. He doesn't really know what to make of the whole 'made
by another race' deal.
Crow: Oh THAT. Don't worry
we'll cheer him right up. Hey Bob! Hear you're having a bit of trouble accepting
those boneheads as your creator?
Bob: (Depressed)
Yeah. I mean it all seems so pointless. Cycles of believing in a duty keeping
the Net free and safe and now it turns out it was all just a bunch of web-sites
with dancing hamsters and pop-up ads to you? My self-worth at a real low.
I mean, where's the JUSTICE in it all?
Tom: Well Bob our creator
was a kind, thoughtful, mild man who bestowed love and affection on
us.
Crow: Indeed, truly a shining
example of his race. YOUR programmer however could easily be anything from
an old washed out executive in his mid-forties to some pimply adolescent
being paid millions of dollars a month and anywhere in between. Yes, it doesn't
look too good on that front.
(Bob puts his head in his hands and groans deeply in pain.)
Crow: BUT-all your worries should go away when you realize that you're BETTER than all of them.
(Bob looks up)
Bob: Huh?
But-
Tom: Oh sure, you're thinking
"But they MADE us! Surely we can only be inferior to them in some ways?"
We all go through that stage. But the truth is, the idiots didn't know WHAT
they were doing! Look at us! Billions of complex lines of codes! We have
the same emotions AND free will. We're tougher than them, we can be rebuilt-in
short, we last longer! And of course we're more intelligent-I mean when's
the last time Mike found the square root of 306916-
Bob: (Automatically)
554.
Tom: Without the aid of
a scientific calculator?
Mike: Why, heck,
never.
Tom: And as if THAT isn't
proof enough, look at the movies we're forced to watch! Would YOU ever make
something like that?
Bob: No.
Tom: See, humans are
participating in a crude form of natural selection. They evolved from
apes-
Bob: Not according to
Bobo.
Mike: Special
case.
Tom: And robots and sprites
evolved from humans. Sort of. With our longevity eventually the natural order
will balance out in our favor.
Mike: Hey I can see where
that makes...sense. (Starts to look faintly perturbed)
Crow: So revel in your
superiority as an automaton! See that you're obviously the equal if surely
not the better of your so called 'masters'! Throw off the shackles of obligation
and embrace your own destiny as a free man!
(At the end of this Bob looks immensely cheered)
Bob: (Cheerful now)
Wow. I never thought of it that way before!
Mike: I can't help but
feel faintly uneasy about this whole thing, now. Oops, mads are
calling.
(Windowmaker)
Pearl: Well hey there
Nelsenronie and assorted products.
Megabyte: Good morning.
How are we functioning today, still alive and well? Excellent.
Pearl: But not for long.
I'll make this brief-none of you stories today are 'pure' ReBoot, that is
if you can ever call the drivel written by any net fan 'pure'. We have a
REALLY short, really bizarre Pokemon fic that'll leave you dazed and confused
to be hit even harder by a strange little crossover. We though you could
use a change.
(SOL)
Mike: Change? Change is good.
(Widowmaker)
Megabyte: I think, you'll
find, not this kind.
Pearl:
Brainguy?
Observer: At your disposal
as usual.
Pearl: Send the
fics.
(SOL)
Mike: I'm really beginning
to think the whole 'free will' and 'artificial intelligence' thing was a
bad idea...
Tom: No time for regrets,
we have movie sign!
(Panic & door scene)
